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ake me worthy of the girl sitting beside me。 And yet； I felt that if I returned to that life the life of a killer for even one night； I would surely put her out of my reach forever。 Even if I didn t drink their blood even if I didn t have that evidence blazing red in my eyes wouldn t she sense the difference？ I was trying to be good enough for her。 trying。 What s wrong？ she whispered。 Her breath filled my nose； and I was reminded why I could not deserve her。 After all of this； even with as much as I loved her she still made my mouth water。 I would give her as much honesty as I could。 I owed her that。 It was an impossible goal。 I would keep Sometimes I have a problem with my temper； Bella。 I stared out into the black night； wishing both that she would hear the horror inherent in my words and also that she would not。 Mostly that she would not。 Run； Bella； run。 Stay； Bella； stay。 But it wouldn t be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those Just thinking about it almost pulled me from the car。 I took a deep breath； letting her scent scorch down my throat。 At least； that s what I m trying to convince myself。 Oh。 She said nothing else。 How much had she heard in my words？ I glanced at her furtively； but her face was unreadable。 Blank with shock； perhaps。 Well； she
wasn t screaming。 Not yet。 I warred with myself； trying to be what I should be。 It was quiet for a moment。 What I couldn t be。 Jessica and Angela will be worried； she said quietly。 Her voice was very calm； and I was not sure how that could be。 Was she in shock？ Maybe tonight s events hadn t sunk in for her yet。 I was supposed to meet them。 Did she want to be away from me？ worry？ Or was she just worried about her friends I didn t answer her； but I started the car and took her back。 Every inch closer I got to the town； the harder it was to hold on to my purpose。 I was just so close to him If it was impossible if I could never have nor deserve this girl then where was the sense in letting the man go unpunished？ Surely I could allow myself that much No。 I wasn t giving up。 Not yet。 I wanted her too much to surrender。 We were at the restaurant where she was supposed to meet her friends before I d even begun to make sense of my thoughts。 Jessica and Angela were finished eating； and both now truly worried about Bella。 They were on their way to search for her； heading off along the dark street。 It was not a good night for them to be wandering How did you know where ？ Bella s unfinished question interrupted me； and I realized that I had made yet another gaffe。 I d been too distracted to remember to ask her where she was supposed to meet her friends。 But； instead of finishing the inquiry and pressing the point； Bella just shook her head and halfsmiled。 What did that mean？ Well； I didn t have time to puzzle over her strange acceptance of my stranger knowledge。 I opened my door。 What are you doing？ she asked； sounding startled。 Not letting you out of my sight。 Not allowing myself to be alone tonight。 that order。 I m taking you to dinner。 In Well this should be interesting。 It seemed like another night entirely when I d imagined bringing Alice along and pretending to choose the same restaurant as Bella and her friends by accident。 And now； here I was； practically on a date with the girl。 Only it didn t count； because I wasn t giving her a chance to say no。 She already had her door half open before I d walked around the car it wasn t usually so frustrating to have to move at an inconspicuous speed instead of waiting for me to get it for her。 Was this because she wasn t used to being treated like a lady； or because she didn t think of me as a gentleman？ I waited for her to join me； getting more anxious as her girlfriends continued in
toward the dark corner。 Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down； too； I ordered quickly。 I don t think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again。 No； I would not be strong enough for that。 She shuddered； and then quickly collected herself。 She took half a step after them； calling； Jess！ Angela！ in a loud voice。 They turned； and she waved her arm over her head to catch their attention。 Bella！ Oh； she s safe！ Angela thought with relief。 Late much？ Jessica grumbled to herself； but she； too； was thankful that Bella wasn t lost or hurt。 This made me like her a little more than I had。 They hurried back； and then stopped； shocked； when they saw me beside her。 Uhuh！ Jess thought； stunned。 No freaking way！ Edward Cullen？ Did she go away by herself to find him？ But why would she ask about them being out of town if she knew he was here I got a brief flash of Bella s mortified expression when she d asked Angela if my family was often absent from school。 No； she couldn t have known； Angela decided。 Jessica s thoughts were moving past the surprise and on to suspicion。 been holding out on me。 Bella s Where have you been？ she demanded； staring at Bella； but peeking at me from the corner of her eye。 I got lost。 And then I ran into Edward； Bella said； waving one hand toward me。 Her tone was remarkably normal。 Like that was truly all that had happened。 She must be in shock。 That was the only explanation for her calm。 Would it be all right if I joined you？ I asked to be polite； I knew that they d already eaten。 Holy crap but he s hot！ Jessica thought； her head suddenly slightly incoherent。 Angela wasn t much more posed。 why couldn t I do that to Bella？ Er sure； Jessica agreed。 Angela frowned。 Um； actually； Bella； we already ate while we were waiting； she admitted。 Sorry。 What？ Shut up！ Jess plained internally。 So at ease。 Definitely in shock。 That s fine I m not Wish we hadn t eaten。 Wow。 Just。 Wow。 Now Bella shrugged casually。 hungry。 I think you should eat something； I disagreed。 She needed sugar in her bloodstream though it smelled sweet enough as it was； I thought wryly。 The horror was going to e crashing down on her momentarily； and an empty stomach wouldn t help。
She was an easy fainter； as I knew from experience。 These girls wouldn t be in any danger if they went straight home。 stalk their every step。 Danger didn t And I d rather be alone with Bella as long as she was willing to be alone with me。 Do you mind if