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imitation gravy and …… thank goodness weve still got it …… beet salad。 i must tell you about the dumplings。
we make them with government…issue flour； water and yeast。 theyre so gluey and tough that it feels as if you had rocks in your stomach； but oh well！
the high point is our weekly slice of liverwurst； and the jam on our unbuttered bread。
but were still alive； and much of the time it still tastes good too！
yours； anne
m。 frank
wednesday； april 5； 1944
my dearest kitty；
for a long time now i didnt know why i was bothering to do any schoolwork。 the end of the war still seemed so far away； so unreal； like a fairy tale。 if the war isnt over by september； i wont go back to school； since i dont want to be two years behind。
peter filled my days； nothing but peter； dreams and thoughts until saturday night； when i felt so utterly miserable； oh； it was awful。 i held back my tears when i was with peter； laughed uproariously with the van daans as we drank lemon punch and was cheerful and excited； but the minute i was alone i knew i was going to cry my eyes out。 i slid to the floor in my nightgown and began by saying my prayers； very fervently。 then i drew my knees to my chest； lay my head on my arms and cried； all huddled up on the bare floor。 a loud sob brought me back down to earth； and i choked back my tears； since i didnt want anyone next door to hear me。 then i tried to pull myself together； saying over and over； 〃i must； i must； i must。 。 。 〃 stiff from sitting in such an unusual position； i fell back against the side of the bed and kept up my struggle until just before ten…thirty； when i climbed back into bed。 it was over！
and now its really over。 i finally realized that i must do my schoolwork to keep from being ignorant； to get on in life； to bee a journalist； because thats what i want！ i know i can write。 a few of my stories are good； my descriptions of the secret annex are humorous； much of my diary is vivid and alive； but。 。 。 it remains to be seen whether i really have talent。
〃evas dream〃 is my best fairy tale； and the odd thing is that i dont have the faintest idea where it came from。 parts of 〃cadys life〃 are also good； but as a whole its nothing special。 im my best and harshest critic。 i know whats good and what isnt。
unless you write yourself； you cant know how wonderful it is； i always used to bemoan the fact that i couldnt draw； but now im overjoyed that at least i can write。
and if i dont have the talent to write books or newspaper articles； i can always write for myself。 but i want to achieve more than that。 i cant imagine having to live like mother； mrs。 van daan and all the women who go about their work and are then forgotten。 i need to have something besides a husband and children to devote myself to！ i dont want to have lived in vain like most people。 i want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people； even those ive never met。 i want to go on living even after my death！ and thats why im so grateful to god for having given me this gift； which i can use to develop myself and to express all thats inside me！
when i write i can shake off all my cares。 my sor… row disappears； my spirits are
revived！ but； and thats a big question； will i ever be able to write something great； will i ever bee a journalist or a writer？
i hope so； oh； i hope so very much； because writing allows me to record everything； all my thoughts； ideals and fantasies。
i havent worked on 〃cadys life〃 for ages。 in my mind ive worked out exactly what happens next； but the story doesnt seem to be ing along very well。 i might never finish it； and itll wind up in the wastepaper basket or the stove。 thats a horrible thought； but then i say to myself； 〃at the age of fourteen and with so little experience； you cant write about philosophy。”
so onward and upward； with renewed spirits。 itll all work out； because im determined to write！
yours； anne
m。 frank
thursday； april 6； 1944
dearest kitty；
you asked me what my hobbies and interests are and id like to answer； but id better warn you； i have lots of them； so dont be surprised。
first of all： writing； but i dont really think of that as a hobby。
number two： genealogical charts。 im looking in every newspaper； book and document i can find for the family trees of the french； german； spanish； english； austrian； russian； norwegian and dutch royal famthes。 ive made great progress with many of them； because for ！ a long time ive been taking notes while reading biogra… i； phies or history books。 i even copy out many of the passages on history。
so my third hobby is history； and fathers already bought me numerous books。 i can hardly wait for the day when ill be able to go to the public library and ferret out iii the information i need。
number four is greek and roman mythology。 i have various books on this subject too。
i can name the nine muses and the seven loves of zeus。 i have the wives of hercules； etc。； etc。； down pat。
my other hobbies are movie stars and family photographs。 im crazy about reading and
books。 i adore the history of the arts； especially when it concerns writers； poets and painters； musicians may e later。 i loathe algebra； geometry and arithmetic。 i enjoy all my other school subjects； but historys my favorite！
yours； anne
m。 frank
tuesday； april 11； 1944
my dearest kitty；
my heads in a whirl； i really dont know where to begin。 thursday （the last time i wrote you） everything was as usual。 friday afternoon （good friday） we played monopoly； saturday afternoon too。 the days passed very quickly。 around two oclock on saturday； heavy firing ii began…machine guns； according to the men。 for the rest； everything was quiet。
sunday afternoon peter came to see me at four…thirty； at my invitation。 at five…fifteen we went to the ii front attic； where we stayed until six。 there was a beautil ful mozart concert on the radio from six to seven…fifteen； i especially enjoyed the kleine nachtmusik。 i can hardly bear to listen in the kitchen； since beautiful music stirs me to the very depths of my soul。 sunday evening peter couldnt take his balli； because the washtub was down in the office kitchen； filled with