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the next moment i heard something。 and at the same moment； if you’d happened to be there； you’d have seen an interesting instance of what i believe is called conditioned reflex。 because what i’d heard—there wasn’t any question of mistake—was the whistle of a bomb。 i hadn’t heard such a thing for twenty years； but i didn’t need to be told what it was。 and without taking any kind of thought i did the right thing。 i flung myself on my face。
after all i’m glad you didn’t see me。 i don’t suppose i looked dignified。 i was flattened out on the pavement like a rat when it squeezes under a door。 nobody else had been half as prompt。 i’d acted so quickly that in the split second while the bomb was whistling down i even had time to be afraid that it was all a mistake and i’d made a fool of myself for nothing。
but the next moment—ah！
boom…brrrrr！
a noise like the day of judgment； and then a noise like a ton of coal falling on to a sheet of tin。 that was falling bricks。 i seemed to kind of melt into the pavement。 ‘it’s started；’ i thought。 ‘i knew it！ old hitler didn’t wait。 just sent his bombers across without warning。’
and yet here’s a peculiar thing。 even in the echo of that awful； deafening crash； which seemed to freeze me up from top to toe； i had time to think that there’s something grand about the bursting of a big projectile。 what does it sound like？ it’s hard to say； because what you hear is mixed up with what you’re frightened of。 mainly it gives you a vision of bursting metal。 you seem to see great sheets of iron bursting open。 but the peculiar thing is the feeling it gives you of being suddenly shoved up against reality。 it’s like being woken up by somebody shying a bucket of water over you。 you’re suddenly dragged out of your dreams by a clang of bursting metal； and it’s terrible； and it’s real。
there was a sound of screams and yells； and also of car brakes being suddenly jammed on。 the second bomb which i was waiting for didn’t fall。 i raised my head a little。 on every side people seemed to be rushing round and screaming。 a car was skidding diagonally across the road； i could hear a woman’s voice shrieking； ‘the germans！ the germans！’ to the right i had a vague impression of a man’s round white face； rather like a wrinkled paper bag； looking down at me。 he was kind of dithering：
‘what is it？ what’s happened？ what are they doing？’
‘it’s started；’ i said。 ‘that was a bomb。 lie down。’
but still the second bomb didn’t fall。 another quarter of a minute or so； and i raised my head again。 some of the people were still rushing about； others were standing as if they’d been glued to the ground。 from somewhere behind the houses a huge haze of dust had risen up； and through it a black jet of smoke was streaming upwards。 and then i saw an extraordinary sight。 at the other end of the market…place the high street rises a little。 and down this little hill a herd of pigs was galloping； a sort of huge flood of pig…faces。 the next moment； of course； i saw what it was。 it wasn’t pigs at all； it was only the schoolchildren in their gas… masks。 i suppose they were bolting for some cellar where they’d been told to take cover in case of air…raids。 at the back of them i could even make out a taller pig who was probably miss todgers。 but i tell you for a moment they looked exactly like a herd of pigs。
i picked myself up and walked across the market…place。 people were calming down already； and quite a little crowd had begun to flock towards the place where the bomb had dropped。
oh； yes； you’re right； of course。 it wasn’t a german aeroplane after all。 the war hadn’t broken out。 it was only an accident。 the planes were flying over to do a bit of bombing practice—at any rate they were carrying bombs—and somebody had put his hands on the lever by mistake。 i expect he got a good ticking off for it。 by the time that the postmaster had rung up london to ask whether there was a war on； and been told that there wasn’t； everyone had grasped that it was an accident。 but there’d been a space of time； something between a minute and five minutes； when several thousand people believed we were at war。 a good job it didn’t last any longer。 another quarter of an hour and we’d have been lynching our first spy。
i followed the crowd。 the bomb had dropped in a little side…street off the high street； the one where uncle ezekiel used to have his shop。 it wasn’t fifty yards from where the shop used to be。 as i came round the corner i could hear voices murmuring ‘oo…oo！’—a kind of awed noise； as if they were frightened and getting a big kick out of it。 luckily i got there a few minutes before the ambulance and the fire…engine； and in spite of the fifty people or so that had already collected i saw everything。
at first sight it looked as if the sky had been raining bricks and vegetables。 there were cabbage leaves everywhere。 the bomb had blown a greengrocer’s shop out of existence。 the house to the right of it had part of its roof blown off； and the roof beams were on fire； and all the houses round had been more or less damaged and had their windows smashed。 but what everyone was looking at was the house on the left。 its wall； the one that joined the greengrocer’s shop； was ripped off as neatly as if someone had done it with a knife。 and what was extraordinary was that in the upstairs rooms nothing had been touched。 it was just like looking into a doll’s house。 chests…of…drawers； bedroom chairs； faded wallpaper； a bed not yet made； and a jerry under the bed—all exactly as it had been lived in； except that one wall was gone。 but the lower rooms had caught the force of the explosion。 there was a frightful smashed…up mess of bricks； plaster； chair…legs； bits of a varnished dresser； rags of tablecloth； piles of broken plates； and chunks of a scullery sink。 a jar of marmalade had rolled across the floor； leaving a long streak of marmalade behind； and running side by side with it there was a ribbon of blood。 but in among the broken crockery there was lying a leg。 just a leg； with the trouser still on it and a black boot with a wood…milne rubber heel。 this was what people were oo…ing a