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his uncle thought about that。 id say i have； he said。 id say about anybody has。 what is it youve found out about me？
im serious。
all right。
i mean somethin bad。
how bad。
i dont know。 where it stuck with you。
like somethin you could go to jail for？
well； it could be somethin like that i reckon。 it wouldnt have to be。
id have to think about that。
no you wouldnt。
whats got into you？ i aint goin to invite you out here no more。
you didnt invite me this time。
well。 thats true。
bell sat with his elbows on the table and his hands folded together。 his uncle watched him。 i hope you aint fixin to make some terrible confession； he said。 i might not want to hear it。
do you want to hear it？
yeah。 go ahead。
all right。
it aint of a sexual nature is it？
no。
thats all right。 go ahead and tell it anyways。
its about bein a war hero。
all right。 would that be you？
yeah。 thatd be me。
go ahead。
im tryin to。 this is actually what happened。 what got me that mendation。
go ahead。
we was in a forward position monitorin radio signals and we was holed up in a farmhouse。 just a two room stone house。 wed been there two days and it never did quit rainin。 rained like all get…out。 somewhere about the middle of the second day the radio operator had took his headset off and he said： listen。 well； we did。 when somebody said listen you listened。 and we didnt hear nothin。 and i said： what is it？ and he said： nothin。
i said what the hell are you talkin about； nothin？ what did you hear？ and he said： i mean you cant hear nothin。 listen。 and he was right。 there was not a sound nowheres。
no field…piece or nothin。 all you could hear was the rain。 and that was about the last thing i remember。 when i woke up i was layin outside in the rain and i dont know how long id been layin there。 i was wet and cold and my ears was ringin and whenever i set up and looked the house was gone。 just part of the wall at one end was standin was all。
a mortarshell had e through the wall and just blowed it all to hell。 well； i couldnt hear a thing。 i couldnt hear the rain or nothin。 if i said somethin i could hear it inside my head but that was all。 i got up and walked over to where the house was and there was sections of the roof layin over a good part of it and i seen one of our men buried in them rocks and timbers and i tried to move some stuff to see if i couldnt get to him。 my whole head just felt numb。 and while i was doin that i raised up and looked out and here e these german riflemen across this field。 they was in out of a patch of woods about two hundred yards off and in across this field。 i still didnt know exactly what had happened。 i was kindly in a daze。 i crouched down there by the side of the wall and the first thing i seen was wallaces 。30 caliber stickin out from under some timbers。 that thing was aircooled and it was belt fed out of a metal box and i figured if i let em run up a little more on me i could operate on em out there in the open and they wouldnt call in another round cause theyd be too close。 i scratched around and finally got that thing dug out； it and the tripod； and i dug around some more and e up with the ammo box for it and i got set up behind the section of wall there and jacked back the slide and pushed off the safety and here we went。
it was hard to tell where the rounds was hittin on account of the ground bein wet but i knew i was doin some good。 i emptied out about two feet of belt and i kept watchin out there and after itd been quiet two or three minutes one of them krauts jumped up and tried to make a run for the woods but i was ready for that。 i kept the rest of em pinned down and all the while i could hear some of our men groanin and i sure didnt know what i was goin to do e dark。 and thats what they give me the bronze star for。 the major that put me in for it was named mcallister and he was from georgia。 and i told him i didnt want it。 and he just set there lookin at me and directly he said： im waitin on you to tell me your reasons for wantin to refuse a military mendation。 so i told him。
and when i got done he said： sergeant； you will accept the mendation。 i guess they had to make it look good。 look like it counted for somethin。 losin the position。 he said you will accept it and if you tell it around what you told me it will get back to me and when it does you are goin to wish you was in hell with your back broke。 is that clear？
and i said yessir。 said that was about as clear as you could make it。 so that was it。
so now youre fixin to tell me what you done。
yessir。
when it got dark。
when it got dark。 yessir。
what did you do？
i cut and run。
the old man thought about that。 after a while he said： i got to assume that it seemed like a pretty good idea at the time。
yeah； bell said。 it did。
what would of happened if youd stayed there？
theyd of e up in the dark and lobbed grenades in on me。 or maybe gone back up in the woods and called in another round。
yeah。
bell sat there with his hands crossed on the oilcloth。 he looked at his uncle。 the old man said： i aint sure what it is youre askin me。
i aint either。
you left your buddies behind。
yeah。
you didnt have no choice。
i had a choice。 i could of stayed。
you couldnt of helped em。
probably not。 i thought about takin that 。30 caliber off about a hundred feet or so and waitin till they throwed their grenades or whatever。 lettin em e on up。 i could of killed a few more。 even in the dark。 i dont know。 i set there and watched it e night。
pretty sunset。 it had done cleared up by then。 had finally quit rainin。 that field had been sowed in oats and there was just the stalks。 fall of the year。 i watched it get dark and i had not heard nothin from anybody that was in the wreckage there for a while。 they might could of all been dead by then。 but i didnt know that。 and quick as it got dark i got up and i left out of there。 i didnt even have a gun。 i dang sure wasnt haulin that 。30 caliber with me。 my head had quit hurtin some and i could even hear a little。 it had quit rainin but i was wet through and i was cold to whe