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t this one She was quiet as I struggled to control myself。 I listened to her heartbeat。 The rhythm was irregular； but it slowed as the time passed until it was steady again。 Her breathing； too； was low and even。 I was too close to the edge。 Would I kill him； then？ I needed to get her home before Would I bee a murderer again when she trusted me？ Was there any way to stop myself？ She d promised to tell me her latest theory when we were alone。 Did I want to hear it？ I was anxious for it； but would the reward for my curiosity be worse than not knowing？ At any rate； she must have had enough truth for one night。 I looked at her again； and her face was paler than before； but posed。 Are you ready to go home？ I asked。 I m ready to leave； she said； choosing her words carefully； as if a simple yes did not fully express what she wanted to say。 Frustrating。 The waitress returned。 She d heard Bella s last statement as she d dithered on the other side of the partition； wondering what more she could offer me。 I wanted to roll my eyes at some of the offerings she d had in mind。 How are we doing？ she asked me。 We re ready for the check； thank you； I told her； my eyes on Bella。 The waitress s breathing spiked and she was momentarily to use Bella s phrasing dazzled by my voice。 In a sudden moment of perception； hearing the way my voice sounded in this inconsequential human s head； I realized why I seemed to be attracting so much admiration tonight unmarred by the usual fear。 It was because of Bella。 Trying so hard to be safe for her； to be less frightening； to be human； I truly had lost my edge。 The other humans saw only beauty now； with my innate horror so carefully under control。 I looked up at the waitress； waiting for her to recover herself。 It was sort of
humorous； now that I understood the reason。 Sure； she stuttered。 Here you go。 She handed me the folder with the bill； thinking of the card she d slid in behind the receipt。 A card with her name and telephone number on it。 Yes； it was rather funny。 I had money ready again。 I gave the folder back at once； so she wouldn t waste any time waiting for a call that would never e。 No change； I told her； hoping the size of the tip would assuage her disappointment。 I stood； and Bella quickly followed suit。 I wanted to offer her my hand； but I thought that might be pushing my luck a little too far for one night。 I thanked the waitress； my eyes never leaving Bella s face。 Bella seemed to be finding something amusing； too。 We walked out； I walked as close beside her as I dared。 Close enough that the warmth ing off her body was like a physical touch against the left side of my body。 As I held the door for her； she sighed quietly； and I wondered what regret made her sad。 I stared into her eyes； about to ask； when she suddenly looked at the ground； seeming embarrassed。 It made me more curious； even as it made me reluctant to ask。 The silence between us continued while I opened her door for her and then got into the car。 I turned the heater on the warmer weather had e to an abrupt end； the cold car must be unfortable for her。 She huddled in my jacket； a small smile on her lips。 I waited； postponing conversation until the lights of the boardwalk faded。 It made me feel more alone with her。 Was that the right thing？ Now that I was focused only on her； the car seemed very small。 Her scent swirled through it with the current of the heater； building and strengthening。 It grew into its own force； like another entity in the car。 A presence that demanded recognition。 It had that； I burned。 The burning was acceptable； though。 It seemed strangely appropriate to me。 I had been given so much tonight more than I d expected。 And here she was； still willingly at my side。 I owed something in return for that。 A sacrifice。 A burnt offering。 Now if I could just keep it to that； just burn； and nothing more。 But the venom filled my mouth； and my muscles tensed in anticipation； as if I were hunting I had to keep such thoughts from my mind。 And I knew what would distract me。 Now； I said to her； fear of her response taking the edge off the burn。 It s your turn。
9。 Theory Can I ask just one more？ she entreated instead of answering my demand。 I was on edge； anxious for the worst。 And yet； how tempting it was to prolong this moment。 To have Bella with me； willingly； for just a few seconds longer。 sighed at the dilemma； and then said； One。 Well ； she hesitated for a moment； as if deciding which question to voice。 You said you knew I hadn t gone into the bookstore； and that I had gone south。 was just wondering how you know that。 I glared out the windshield。 Here was another question that revealed nothing on her part； and too much on mine。 I thought we were past all the evasiveness； she said； her tone critical and disappointed。 How ironic。 She was relentlessly evasive； without even trying。 And this conversation wasn t going anywhere I I Well； she wanted me to be direct。 good； regardless。 Fine； then； I said。 I followed your scent。 I wanted to watch her face； but I was afraid of what I would see。 Instead； I listened to her breath accelerate and then stabilize。 She spoke again after a moment； and her voice was steadier than I would have expected。 And then you didn t answer one of my first questions she said。 I looked down at her； frowning。 Which one？ She was stalling； too。
How does it work the mind reading thing？ she asked； reiterating her question from the restaurant。 Can you read anybody s mind； anywhere？ How do you do it？ Can the rest of your family ？ She trailed off； flushing again。 That s more than one； I said。 She just looked at me； waiting for her answers。 And why not tell her？ She d already guessed most of this； and it was an easier subject that the one that loomed。 No； it s just me。 And I can t hear anyone； anywhere。 I have to be fairly close。 The more familiar someone s voice is； the farther away I can hear them。 But still； no more than a few miles。 I tried to think of a way to describe it so that she would understand。 An analogy that she could relate to。 It s a little like being in a huge hall filled with people； everyone talking at once。 It s just a hum a buzzing of voices in the background。 Until I focus on one voice