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here to be a resemblance。 Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological sense。 We shared no mon features。 The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were； every vampire had the same ice pale skin。 The similarity in the color of our eyes was another matter a reflection of a mutual choice。 And yet； though there was no basis for a resemblance； I d imagined that my face had begun to reflect his； to an extent； in the last seventyodd years that I had
embraced his choice and followed in his steps。 My features had not changed； but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom had marked my expression； that a little of his passion could be traced in the shape of my mouth； and hints of his patience were evident on my brow。 All those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster。 In a few moments； there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I d spent with my creator； my mentor； my father in all the ways that counted。 My eyes would glow red as a devil s； all likeness would be lost forever。 In my head； Carlisle s kind eyes did not judge me。 I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act that I would do。 Because he loved me。 Because he thought I was better than I was。 And he would still love me； even as I now proved him wrong。 Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me； her movements stiff and awkward with fear？ and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me。 I would prove my father wrong about me。 much as the fire in my throat。 The misery of this fact hurt almost as I leaned away from her in revulsion revolted by the monster aching to take her。 Why did she have to e here？ Why did she have to exist？ Why did she have to ruin the little peace I had in this nonlife of mine？ Why had this aggravating human ever been born？ She would ruin me。 I turned my face away from her； as a sudden fierce； unreasoning hatred washed through me。 Who was this creature？ Why me； why now？ Why did I have to lose everything just because she happened to choose this unlikely town to appear in？ Why had she e here！ I didn t want to be the monster！ I didn t want to kill this room full of harmless children！ I didn t want to lose everything I d gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial！ I wouldn t。 She couldn t make me。 The scent was the problem； the hideously appealing scent of her blood。 If there was only some way to resist if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head。 Bella Swan shook out her long； thick； mahogany hair in my direction。 Was she insane？ It was as if she were encouraging the monster！ Taunting him。 All would soon There was no friendly breeze to blow the smell away from me now。 be lost。 No； there was no helpful breeze。 But I didn t have to breathe。 I stopped the flow of air through my lungs； the relief was instantaneous； but inplete。 I still had the memory of the scent in my head； the taste of it on the back of my tongue。 I wouldn t be able to resist even that for long。 But perhaps I could resist for an hour。 One hour。 Just enough time to get out of
this room full of victims； victims that maybe didn t have to be victims。 could resist for one short hour。 If I It was an unfortable feeling； not breathing。 My body did not need oxygen； but it went against my instincts。 I relied on scent more than my other senses in times of stress。 It led the way in the hunt； it was the first warning in case of danger。 I did not often came across something as dangerous as I was； but selfpreservation was just as strong in my kind as it was in the average human。 Unfortable； but manageable。 More bearable than smelling her and not sinking my teeth through that fine； thin； seethrough skin to the hot； wet； pulsing An hour！ Just one hour。 I must not think of the scent； the taste。 The silent girl kept her hair between us； leaning forward so that it spilled across her folder。 I couldn t see her face； to try to read the emotions in her clear； deep eyes。 Was this why she d let her tresses fan out between us？ To hide those eyes from me？ Out of fear？ Shyness？ To keep her secrets from me？ My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts was weak and pale in parison to the need and the hate that possessed me now。 For I hated this frail womanchild beside me； hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self； my love of my family； my dreams of being something better than what I was Hating her； hating how she made me feel it helped a little。 Yes； the irritation I d felt before was weak； but it； too； helped a little。 I clung to any emotion that distracted me from imagining what she would taste like Hate and irritation。 Impatience。 Would the hour never pass？ And I would do And when the hour ended what？ I could introduce myself。 your next class？ Then she would walk out of this room。 Hello； my name is Edward Cullen。 May I walk you to She would say yes。 It would be the polite thing to do。 Even already fearing me； as I suspected she did； she would follow convention and walk beside me。 It should be easy enough to lead her in the wrong direction。 A spur of the forest reached out like a finger to touch the back corner of the parking lot。 I could tell her I d forgotten a book in my car Would anyone notice that I was the last person she d been seen with？ It was raining； as usual； two dark raincoats heading the wrong direction wouldn t pique too much interest； or give me away。 Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today though no one was as blisteringly aware as I was。 Mike Newton； in particular； was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her chair she was unfortable so close to me； just as anyone would be； just as I d expected before her scent had destroyed all charitable concern。 Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me。 If I could last an hour； could I last two？
I flinched at the pain of the burning。 She would go home to his house； as I knew against thick woods； which she would not； an empty house。 Police Chief Swan worked a full day。 I knew every house in the tiny town。 His home was nestled right up with no close neighbors。 Even if she had time to scream； there would be no one to hear。 That would be the responsible way to deal