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5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第37章

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 before。 Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile! There were a million different things to worry about Edward Cullen is staring at you again; I heard Jessica say。 I wonder why he s sitting alone today? I was grateful to Jessica though she was even more resentful now because Bella s head snapped up and her eyes searched until they met mine。 There was no trace of sadness in her face now。 I let myself hope that she d been sad because she d thought I d left school early; and that hope made me smile。 I motioned with my finger for her to join me。 She looked so startled by this that I wanted to tease her again。 So I winked; and her mouth fell open。 Does he mean you? Jessica asked rudely。 Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework; she said in a low; uncertain voice。 Um; I d better go see what he wants。 This was another yes。 She stumbled twice on her way to my table; though there was nothing in her way but perfectly even linoleum。 Seriously; how had I missed this before? I d been paying more attention to her silent thoughts; I supposed What else had I missed? Keep it honest; keep it light; I chanted to myself。 She stopped behind the chair across from me; hesitating。 through my nose this time rather than my mouth。 Feel the burn; I thought dryly。 Why don t you sit with me today? I asked her。 She pulled the chair out and sat; staring at me the whole while。 nervous; but her physical acceptance was yet another yes。 I waited for her to speak。 It took a moment; but; finally; she said; This is different。 Well I hesitated。 do it thoroughly。 I decided as long as I was going to hell; I might as well She seemed I inhaled deeply;

What had made me say that? I supposed it was honest; at least。 And perhaps she d hear the unsubtle warning my words implied。 Maybe she would realize that she should get up and walk away as quickly as possible She didn t get up。 unfinished。 She stared at me; waiting; as if I d left my sentence You know I don t have any idea what you mean; she said when I didn t continue。 That was a relief。 I know。 It was hard to ignore the thoughts screaming at me from behind her back and I wanted to change the subject anyway。 I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you。 This did not appear to concern her。 They ll survive。 I smiled。 I may not give you back; though。 I didn t even know if I was trying to be honest now; or just trying to tease her again。 Being near her made it hard to make sense of my own thoughts。 Bella swallowed loudly。 I laughed at her expression。 funny She should worry。 You look worried。 It really shouldn t be Surprised; So No。 She was a bad liar; it didn t help that her voice broke。 actually 。 What brought this on? I told you; I reminded her。 I got tired of trying to stay away from you。 I m giving up。 I held my smile in place with a bit of effort。 This wasn t working at all trying to be honest and casual at the same time。 Giving up? she repeated; baffled。 Yes giving up trying to be good。 And; apparently; giving up trying to be casual。 I m just going to do what I want now; and let the chips fall where they may。 That was honest enough。 Let her see my selfishness。 Let that warn her; too。 You lost me again。 I was selfish enough to be glad that this was the case。 when I m talking to you that s one of the problems。 A rather insignificant problem; pared to the rest。 Don t worry; she reassured me。 I don t understand any of it。 Good。 Then she d stay。 I m counting on that。 I always say too much So; in plain English; are we friends now? I pondered that for a second。 that。 It wasn t enough。 Friends I repeated。 I didn t like the sound of

Or not; she mumbled; looking embarrassed。 Did she think I didn t like her that much? I smiled。 Well; we can try; I suppose。 good friend for you。 But I m warning you now that I m not a I waited for her response; torn in two wishing she would finally hear and understand; thinking I might die if she did。 How melodramatic。 I was turning into such a human。 Her heart beat faster。 You say that a lot。 I m still Yes; because you re not listening to me; I said; too intense again。 waiting for you to believe it。 If you re smart; you ll avoid me。 Ah; but would I allow her to do that; if she tried? Her eyes tightened。 I think you ve made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear; too。 I wasn t exactly sure what she meant; but I smiled in apology; guessing that I must have offended her accidentally。 So; she said slowly。 As long as I m being not smart; we ll try to be friends? That sounds about right。 She looked down; staring intently at the lemonade bottle in her hands。 The old curiosity tormented me。 What are you thinking? I asked it was a relief to say the words out loud at last。 She met my gaze; and her breathing sped while her cheeks flushed faint pink。 inhaled; tasting that in the air。 I m trying to figure out what you are。 I held the smile on my face; locking my features that way; while panic twisted through my body。 Of course she was wondering that。 She wasn t stupid。 be oblivious to something so obvious。 I couldn t hope for her to I Are you having any luck with that? I asked as lightly as I could manage。 Not too much; she admitted。 I chuckled in sudden relief。 What are your theories? They couldn t be worse than the truth; no matter what she d e up with。 Her cheeks turned brighter red; and she said nothing。 I could feel the warmth of her blush in the air。

I tried using my persuasive tone on her。 Won t you tell me? She shook her head。 It worked well on normal humans。 I smiled encouragingly。 Too embarrassing。 Why would her speculations Ugh。 Not knowing was worse than anything else。 embarrass her? I couldn t stand not knowing。 That s really frustrating; you know。 My plaint sparked something in her。 swiftly than usual。 Her eyes flashed and her words flowed more No; I can t imagine why that would be frustrating at all just because someone refuses to tell you what they re thinking; even if all the while they re making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean now; why would that be frustrating? I frowned at her; upset to realize that she was right。 She went on。 Or better; say that things from saving your life under
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